VYAVHARA FOR PEACEFUL LIVING
Patanjali rishi has advocated eight steps to experience the divine union. They are: Yama, Niyama,Aasana,Pranayam, Pratyahara, Dharana, Dhyana and Samadhi. Here Yama, is discipline in our Vyavhara or the behavioral aspect. He wanted to direct spiritual seekers to understand that portraying the right behavior is the first and the most important step in achieving an enlightened state (Samadhi).
Simple ways to remain peaceful through vyavhara are:
• Drop expectations. When our expectations are not met, we tend to get disappointed, depressed, irritated, even frustrated. To eliminate these aspects, one can work on the root cause, which is deleting expectations.
• Increase in acceptance. When we narrow our limit to accept any situation or person, we are depriving ourselves of the bigger happiness coming our way. And when we accept everything, everything in return accepts us, which is what we most yearn for.
• No tit-for-tat attitude. When we tend to hurt the other person, in return for hurting us, we enter a vicious cycle of karmas. And hurting anyone, will only welcome more hurt or sorrow in our lives. So, one should refrain from tit-for-tat mindset and instead exhibit patience and love for the other person to dilute the situation.
• Drop the “I am right” attitude. When we say “I am right”, we are depriving ourselves from learning a new perspective on the same subject from the other person. This limits the growth of our mind and invites people to dislike us and send negative vibrations to us. Hence, one should keep this attitude aside and welcome others’ perspectives.
• Give credit and take the blame. Giving credit to our elders, family, loved ones, colleagues, teachers, boss or Guru is a way of showing their importance in our lives. Giving credit to others is giving them joy and seeing others joy is a bigger joy than our own joy.Taking the blame for someone else’s fault, will ensure that person’s trust in us. This way we attract their positivity which forms a layer of protection, that will guard us from the negative vibrations coming towards us.